“My actions are my only true belongings.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Too much energy has been spent on observing the bully and bullies, analyzing their personality profiles, motivations and unspoken, often unspeakable, tabooed desires and aspirations, dancing around their needs and tantrums, predicting their next steps.
Who is being forgotten in this effort to make the bully central to the lives of the human family are the bully’s victims who, ironically and factually, are the experts on the bully.
If we gave those harmed by the bully, by bullies only twice the attention and took away half of the attention from placating, pacifying and diagnosing the bully, the attention would go to developing solutions.
It may sound “difficult” to establish victims as the authority on the bully — because this perspective demands more humaneness than many cultures are accustomed to applying — ; however, it is the most time-efficient way to end abuse, to activate dormant knowledge about how to move forward and to create a new dynamic.
Both the victim and the bully have poor self-worth for different reasons. Both tried to draw self-worth from the outside rather than draw it from their personal actions.
Changing the power interaction between the harmed and the bully will include the re-patterning of identity (their identities) toward a deeper look into personal actions (their own actions).
16 March 2023
#agency #peacemaking #solutions #focus #community #activism #peacework #inclusion #therestoftheworld #reconciliation #restoration #harmreduction #research #survivors #changemakers
#bullies #dictators #warmongers #warbringers
Nanda Jurela 