At times, people feel compelled to keep their failures or heart breaks or pain in place by dwelling on them, by speaking and writing about them, almost as if they are proud of having that experience under their belt.
That can grow into a nasty habit. Usually, it does — if you do not work on neutralizing it.
I do not find that cute on men older than 40. I am not sure when women are better off curbing that tendency. How about now?
Instead of replaying the pain and glamorizing it into something that it was never meant to be (will you even recall that garbage that happened when you are on your death bed, and if yes, why?), try this:
Observe your liberation from it.
Celebrate your liberation from it.
That can let those who look up to you know that you had adverse experiences and made mistakes and that you let those wounds heal and that you did not define yourself by the events that made your life miserable and that moving on from dissatisfying experiences is wonderful and that smiles reappear on people’s faces when they leave some things in the past.
A few years ago, I heard the enlightening motto that “you can’t embrace what is trying to hug you while holding onto yesterday’s junk.”
Mind you, not everything that happened yesterday was junk. Much of it was good. But there was enough junk too. You can let go of it — if you choose to. It starts with letting go of contents that elicit bitter, unfulfilled feelings and replacing them with contents that promote a stoic and appreciative attitude.
From there, you can move up to the stratospheres of bliss.
You won’t be making the leap to bliss for as long as you celebrate junk — these states are too far apart for the mind to make sense of what may connect them. You have to live in the middle ground for a while, before you experience true upward movement.
It is always good to feed your fortitude, regardless of what life throws at you. You are more useful to others this way, and being in that zone feels good and restorative. The quality of “good and restorative” may be underrated, but people notice it and flock to it once the fog in the heart or in the head clears up.
I appreciate people who are abundant with good and restorative energies more and more.
24 December 2022
#cleanup #bebrave #prioritizethepositive #replacetheoldtapes #innergrowth #selfparenting #gratitude #peacemaking #peace #compost #letlovein