Family Culture And Its Long Ramifications

Photo credit to Geber86 @ iStockphoto

A lot of people forget, or don’t dare to look into it deeply enough, that extremism of whatever form can be traced back to childhood, namely the experiences of abuse and neglect in childhood. The neglected and abused young person will go to a source of love when and in whatever way it offers itself. If that source teaches more violence and hatred or, in a milder case, anachronistic beliefs that don’t quite fit into the here and now or a fear and fearful avoidance of certain contents and people, guess what that young person will experience as “love”? Guess who they will emulate when they are ready to make their way in the world? Guess who they will consider admirable and worthy of following? Of course, the kid will conclude that only the people who loved him or her have the answers, the lifestyle and the ideologies that are correct “for everyone” else.

In short, being loved and the conditions surrounding the experience of being loved (usually for the first time) forms the template of what convictions any person later gravitates to. The heart comes before the mind.

Yes, there are people who first experience being loved in front of a TV or while reading. A part of their development will be stunted, and words and ads will be particularly seductive to them — until they have their first experience of being loved by another human being, too.

However, let’s assume that a majority of people are impacted by the love they received from a person or from a family — that could be an opportunity for you to become a home for someone who needs you, too… Maybe all that other stuff that excites you is less fulfilling and less durable in the long run, and you have contributed to a future that is less exploitive, less drama-filled and less deluded and at the same time more caring, more cooperative and more responsive.

That is something. Actually, it is better than a lot of other choices you can commit to.

25 December 2021

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