“Keep Your Eyes On the Prize.”

Photo detail by Santa3

In my dream, I am invited to a party, where my supposed love interest is showing up. I can not determine how old we are. We seem both our real ages and also younger than we are.

His father, who wants his son to do as he says, involves me in a conversation, from the side. He starts asking for a lot of advice. At first, I am polite. I try to answer all his questions and keep the conversation flowing. Even in the dream, I notice some people pleasing tendencies surfacing, but I tell my mind, “It is his Dad. His family!” I give my best to leave a good impression.

The father manages to direct me out of the house, into a garden shed, and starts asking me about what gift to give to his mistress. His mistress shows up in the garden briefly and leaves. I figure out that it is her who he wants to give a gift to. The father’s mistress does not move me at all. I do not want to think about her or about his gift for her. She looks like a wealthy person, with a lot of time on her hands. I wonder why I have to be in this place, why this guy wants me to know about his indiscretions, why he is so comfortable sharing his secrets with me.

The father takes me on a journey in a train. I feel that I am losing more and more time with this guy. Suddenly he is gone. As soon as I notice that he is gone, I rush out of the train at the next stop.

I am covered in sweat, as I jump out. I feel that I dodged a bullet of some kind. I calm myself down at the station.

In my mind, I trace back how I landed here.. What just happened? Wtf?

My love interest’s father has accomplished something with his game. He took me away from “the party”, the abundance of life. He showed me aspects of himself that did not seem to embarrass him at all, but were of no value, or interest, to me. I noticed his double life. I did not speak up for me at all. His son, the person I am actually interested in, in the dream, never came up in our conversation.

I am getting doubts about my love interest. If that is his father, who is he?!? I determine that he and I are most likely not a good fit, and that I will have to tell him that.

I then think about how I will get back home.

I wake up to full consciousness.

It takes a while for me to greet this day in October 2020. I want to write down the dream, because of the many symbols and localities in it.

I ask myself if the dream is about my relationship to patriarchy, and about who. Who do the people in the dream remind me of in my waking life?

Spontaneously, no one comes to mind.. There is no direct link to anyone..

My conclusion is to watch out for people who try to dominate, and observe the reasons for their behaviour, and not make them my role models.

The dream suggests that my use of time needs an overhaul, that I have to become more assertive with it, and not let some established, authoritarian trickster with secrets and vices steal it.

3 October 2020

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