I am dealing with a few characters who remind me to firm up my boundaries, and I had an interesting insight in my meditation a few hours ago:

Men (and maybe women too) who understand that they can not be heroes — because that option is not available, or not attractive, to them — will choose to be villains because being able to choose gives them a sense of power and of personal will.

Somehow they comprehend (likely more subconsciously than awake) that they can not do enough to restore their self-worth. That this path would take too long. So choosing to act with contempt and hatred makes them feel powerful; while feeling what they do to everyone and to themselves would make them feel powerless. Of course, they choose power over powerlessness.

Nature — that instills self-worth in human beings — and people who exude self-worth become their enemies; because the reminder of their own wholesome states in the past must be too painful to feel after a series of wrong decisions.

In essence, it is a blend of envy and trying to kill their healthier memories, running away from feeling and the search for significance that makes these people what they are.

So far, this is not an approach that addresses or cuts through the issue; it is just a hunch of what is going in their psyche.

They won’t tell you. Most of them are not introspective either. But in order to find a solution, some comprehension of the incomprehensible is needed.

16 August 2018

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