Conflict Addicts

Life has taught me that there are really only two types of people:

– those motivated by the wish to ease suffering of one or many species, or ease their own suffering, so they are trying to find solutions


– those who are mainly concerned about their right to say the most outlandish things, the freedom to destroy themselves, their relationships, or some constructs they can’t agree with, and to have the right to sharpen their technique or their rhetorics. So that they get to have their moment of “See, I told you!” Or what else could their aim be? The freedom to drive the point home that their absurd philosophy is the only perception their audience ought to have? “Freedom of speech” for its own sake?

The one solution I can offer here: let the second group hit rock bottom.

Arguing for the sake of arguing is an addiction.

Sometimes I wonder what that brain power spent on arguing could achieve, if it was used for something useful to the people.

I suggest that this mindset roots in the vague awareness of some wrongdoing, probably the theft of land, some theft, some pang of conscience for taking something that wasn’t theirs, and trying to drown out the sensation of guilt or indebtedness. Instead of repairing that mistake and the tension it causes, they convinced themselves of all the reasons why what they did was righteous and the right thing to do, then went on to collect reasons why they don’t have to go back and make amends to those they harmed. Those people, cultures and subcultures became the masters of mind manipulation.

While everyone else worked on developing their service, their skill set, their pleasures, their ability to enjoy life, their happiness, inner peace, health, resilience, their ability to provide for their family, their survival, their wealth, or legacy, or perhaps just danced, ate and flirted at parties.

It is okay to let people choose what they want to spend their time on and whether they want to invest in learning how to heal, or in learning how to keep the upper hand in arguments.

Too much talk and too little work (building something, growing something, restoring the natural world) has destroyed many empires in the past. It is only a matter of time when the empire whose foundation is on arguing, advocating, convincing, yapping will fall too.

17 February 2019

#harmony versus #lifeoutofbalance

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