A huge disappointment is not the end of the story. Sometimes it catalyzes a profound level of appreciation for your life, for what you have done and for what you have given.
Perhaps the event and the negativity that played out was not karma at all. But a way to bring your attention to yourself and to adjust your self-image: from automatic and unconscious self-deprecation to a more appropriate assessment of yourself?
Therefore, the nasty scene at the end of bizarre hostilities can be the beginning of confidence.
The old tapes become boring. You may not have had the idea to get rid of them. Once you do, the relief is instant.
Then – after you have cringed – you can even laugh at the stuff you used to listen to. It sounds like drivel now. How you could not have noticed the disparity of what you have given and what came back to you? What happened then, and is it curable?
It is not self-love that was lacking. (Self-love is the answer for those who worry about being found unlovable; it is not a revelation for those who don’t live with such a fear and who live in love.)
What was lacking was (a) the element of reciprocity that feeds love and makes it whole and (b) someone stepping in on your behalf or something shouting from inside “Enough now!” and “No more will you handle that. Why should you?”
The masculine.
The father energy, if you will. Because a father who is loving and aware imbues his child with a way to walk in the world that is for her benefit and with boundaries.
If dad was too relaxed or too absent, we learn from bullies instead how to draw boundaries. And we get as many as we need to learn.
Father figures can be other males too: all those who will not watch you begging for the things you hand out generously — the friend who is established in the masculine, the positive partner, perhaps a son who is more at home in the yang… They all can emanate the dad-like energy too and what you need to find trust in yourself. They will provide the chip of wisdom that lets you see how much those who withheld reciprocity have slowed down your soul’s journey and have taught you only about contracting your self. They could, because you overestimated them. I.e., you thought of them as you would have thought of yourself, had your vision been clear. But they were not like you and not a compliment to you. They were not even on your side.
And that is what the solar principle does: it sides with you, it gives you power, it lets you know who loves you.
Learn to maintain your boundaries rather than observing keenly those who contract you — because their light and heat, the solar qualities, are missing.
That is what ends the cycle.
That is freedom.
Then claim a definition of love that is mutual.
A love that responds to resonance rather than to provocations, cries for help, trolling or tests.
If you are responding to such needs at work; separate what you do for a living and who you are at home. A client is not an equal.
No one needs to be fixed.
Let into your inner circle only what is of a similar frequency.
Aim for harmony between the standards you set for yourself and what you accept from others.
NJ,
26 September 2015
Nanda Jurela 