You can be angry, or you can fix the problem. So what, if it takes years to fix?
Is it better to search for all the reasons that will raise your blood pressure for a few hours and make you feel justified, even ardently “woke” for a few months, or is it better to press on the mute button and fix the problem permanently?
I understand that only few were raised with that mindset. And that in order to change something for the better, you can not rely on anger alone to transform the situation. What you want is not what feeds your anger and what keeps triggering you, but to have an improved position to work from, more agency and control, more team work, mutual respect, or full responsibility…
First, find the silence within. Let silence show you a path to the solution.
Most man-made problems have a solution. Even problems that are not man-made have a solution. Sometimes you have to reach for a new vantage point and flex your mind to look at the dilemma from different angles. Sometimes you have to dig deep into the conditions in order to comprehend how you can apply yourself. Sometimes you have to trust a fresh approach that has little to do with the past, and allow that approach to heal what is trying to heal. Sometimes there are partial answers. You learn to tolerate that too, that your approach is incomplete. Eventually, partial answers lead you to the solution.
It doesn’t make sense to expect conditions to be perfect, except in theory, maybe, or to wait for the end of some issue — however cathartic such scenarios may be to wishful thinking. Nothing good happens without effort.
Whatever your problem is, avoid getting stuck in comforting vocabulary and avoid getting stuck in anger.
Examine what you can do.
Then, do it.
If you are the first who does something new, encourage yourself, no matter what mood you are in and how lonely you are.
The world is thirsty for innovation. Our time is ripe for solutions.
3 March 2018
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Published on Medium.
https://nandajurela.medium.com/be-angry-or-fix-the-problem-e60848d106e7
Nanda Jurela 
very true indeed, I also prefer to fix problems rather than being upset about them; but it isn’t always easy
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It is difficult to very difficult, Liv.
When I wrote that, I had been through an ordeal of an experience, and I was so sick of certain repetitions too that I opened myself to information that I was not familiar with at all. So that was written after a lot of pain – and on the way to change.. I did not repeat anything resembling the previous pattern. I removed myself from making more mistakes again and expected that I would heal.
Much of my inspiration for writing comes from the people I helped in the past or not long ago, but in this case, I used my own biography to motivate me to keep going.
The writing can be applied to smaller issues too. They are easier to solve.
Big issues – that is when it gets hard, because you have to replace a habit (an entire habitual field of thoughts, beliefs, actions, preferences…) with a new habit. It is not enough to say: “I am done with it.” Or “It can’t happen again.” Oh, yes, it can, if it is something one has done (believed, chosen, strengthened) over a period of time.
Many blessings to your New Year.
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Thank you for the blessings and I also wish you all the best and the blessings you desire most. I have been meaning to write to you for along time now and also to comment you what you told me about your ex and how well your son did in school, despite all of that. That is very admirable! But to be honest, I’m not sure how comfortable I feel, discussing things that are so private and not abstract on the internet, where everyone else can read what you and I are saying to each other. Do you have an e-mail-address or some other way we could write to each other, without the whole world knowing everything about our private life? Because I also feel that we are on the same wave length and that there would be lots to say, I just don’t want my own personal life to be all over the internet because there are always some people who abuse that sort of thing. ANYWAY… very true, what you wrote above, and habits are also very essential. One needs to replace them, that is very true indeed. also with simple things like dieting, tidying up… anything. Replacing a destructive habit with a more constructive one is the way to go about it! lots of love from Liv – across the ocean
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You are right, Liv. Contact me at myfirstnamemylastname @ gmail.com
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