In the last months, I noticed that I am no longer attracted to “chaotic vibes” that used to hook into me energetically in the past. Via relationships. It isn’t easy being the sober and grounded one among addicts; it is hard to be the spiritual and compassionate one among the personality disordered — let me say that. This morning, I woke up from a dream with the lyrics of an old Maroon 5 song playing in my head, “This love has taken its toll”, that described a final goodbye to an affair who said goodbye too many times to return for sex which exhausted him, or figuratively, a final good-bye to an addiction that was turned into a “person” to make it more relatable for the listeners. The songwriter concludes that the mingling no longer contributes to his well-being and that the time has come to leave the energy vampire in the past.
The dream confirmed to me that the process of shedding the attraction to chaos has been completed and that I am on the way to an unknown and very new level of self-respect, self-discovery and self-love.
The only way I can describe it is that whatever remained of an addictive structure (be it ancestral or from early imprints) within me left my system for good – last night.
I feel new. This is an exciting chapter.
Thanks to all who have sent reiki and love into our circle on Friday. Obviously, I benefited from it.
8 February 2020
Nanda Jurela 