Water the Earth, Water Love — Always Water the Good First
When you water “the plants”, you really water the earth from which they grow.
Keep it in mind in your relationships with people.
That what is wholesome in a person, the nurturing and healthy parts — support that, water that. Those qualities become his or her foundation. The rest takes care of itself very well. Growth is inevitable and steady from a place that is generous and secure.
By reinforcing strengths, you achieve more than by correcting behaviours, clipping the branches.
Always water the good first. Make an effort to not take it for granted. Do not rest on the assumption that it is there for all times or that it doesn’t need you. Appreciate what is really, really good, not only in your heart, but aloud, so that the person feels known and seen and cherished. That is a positive use of your water that will keep giving.
So what about people in whom you can’t find much good? Well, something that works in the garden can work here. Distance and letting be.
Rather than stirring up a power struggle (that only the one who routinely plays power games can win), rather than adding water and support to the negativity, let them be.
Let them discover what eats them and what feeds them. A plant can find the nutrients in its own soil, so be confident that people can extract from their foundation and even remake it.
That is not a suggestion to block out bullies or let go of the goal to stop them. There is a time for that. That time is not “always”, it is a clearly defined moment.
By moving your focus on what works well rather than what is dreadful, you assert a world view that encourages functionality, cooperation, and solutions.
The approach is time, cost, energy-efficient and intelligent. Nature has been teaching it all along.
Everyone can talk at lengths what sucks, many can pinpoint what needs to change; but the know-how of growing in the right direction never came from identifying weaknesses. The know-how of growing in the right direction comes from letting yourself grow. In the process, you draw out strengths and memories of having grown before. That too helps you grow again.
You don’t need transformations by confrontation, you don’t need complex intellectual processes, arguments and escape from arguments, to progress. Transformation through upset and further upsetting what is already upset is an old way that hasn’t been successful at all.
In order you grow in a natural way, you need to look at the light.
Like a plant, we need our roots in a healthy foundation, and roots that grow stronger into it, we need water (acknowledgements, softness, feeling), and we need the sun, the source and the goal.
And so it is.
Grow your relations, grow everything that feeds you, grow yourself just like that.
21 July 2016